


Always There

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, just fluff, just that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-09 01:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time he sees Dean Winchester, the boy is just that, a boy, of no more than 5 years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always There

The first time he sees Dean Winchester, the boy is just that, a boy, of no more than 5 years old. Its fall, and he’s playing outside with his mother and baby brother, his father raking leaves behind them. He’s beautiful, the bright, innocent glow of life and curiosity gleam from his soul so strongly, even as a young child. Cas watches attentively, his vessel’s eye never leaving this precious treasure of a human being. His parents go inside about half an hour later to start making dinner, leaving Dean to his own devices. It doesn’t take long for the boy to feel the eyes trained on his back, and he turns around, eyes searching the bushes where Cas is hiding with his vessel. Without really meaning to, Cas peeks his vessel out from the bushes. Dean’s face softens, and he smiles. 

“Hello!” he says, waving at Cas. Cas moves his vessel accordingly, waving back tentatively. 

“C’mere! We can play cars.” He says, motioning to the trucks he’s playing with in the grass. Cas nodded little Jimmy’s head, getting the hang of the vessel’s body. Dean grins, soul shining happily, and waves Cas over. The angel makes his vessel walk over and sit down next beside Dean. 

“Here, you can have the blue truck, ‘cause your eyes are blue.” Dean says, almost proudly, handing over the large blue dump truck. They play—or well, Dean coaches Cas on how to play, and Cas follows his instructions—for almost an hour, Dean seeming to enjoy having someone to play with. When Cas tells Dean with Jimmy’s voice that he has to go, Dean’s face falls.

“Ok. Thanks for playing with me.” Cas arranges Jimmy’s face into a sad smile, and tells him with Jimmy’s voice that he has to go forever. Dean looks confused, but Cas moves his young vessel to kiss the other on the cheek, and presses his fingers to Dean’s forehead, erasing the past hour, and Cas himself from his mind. Dean blinks slowly, as if just waking up, and Cas and Jimmy disappear.

***

The second time he sees Dean Winchester, he’s older, almost 10 years old. John has just booked them into a motel, and is putting Sam to bed. Dean has gone outside for a walk, and is just coming back towards the motel. Cas has been watching, and crouches Jimmy beside the Impala as Dean approaches.

“Hey! Are you okay?” he calls and walks a bit faster. Cas raises Jimmy’s head, and looks up at Dean as the boy crouches down in front of him.

“I saw something scary,” Cas has Jimmy say. Dean’s face softens, much like it had the first time he had seen Cas. 

“Hey, it’s okay, alright? Can you tell me what it looked like?” Dean asks, and Cas makes Jimmy nod.

“It was big, and black, and ran really fast.” Jimmy’s voice says, and Cas can see him going through a mental list of the monsters he knows with those characteristics.

“It’s okay, it’ll be alright. My dad and I fight those things, we’ll take care of you. Do you know where it went?” 

Cas has Jimmy nod. “That way. It went that way.” He says, pointing Jimmy’s finger over Dean’s shoulder into the darkness. Dean nods, and gets up, holding out his hand for the other boy to take. Cas has Jimmy put his hand into Dean’s, and is pulled to his feet. When their eyes meet, a flash of recognition goes through Dean’s eyes. 

“Do I know you?” the boy asks, and Cas has Jimmy smile. 

“Not really,” he says through Jimmy, and presses his fingers to Dean’s forehead, erasing Cas from the other’s memory. He cloaks himself and Jimmy quickly, and watches as Dean looks around for a moment, confused, before getting up and running inside to tell his father of the monster.

***

The third time he sees Dean Winchester, Dean is 17. Cas has trouble getting Jimmy to agree, as the teenager doesn’t believe Cas exists. Eventually he caves, but the young man is surprisingly stubborn.

Cas has gotten more used to Jimmy’s body, more comfortable, and he settles back into it happily as he flies as quickly as he can to where Dean is. 

He finds the human in an empty clearing, lying on the Impala, having most likely stolen the car and driven it there to think. Cas lands in the woods, and walks out towards Dean.

The other feels his presence before he sees him, sitting bolt upright and grabbing the revolver beside him, scanning the area. When he sees Cas, his posture relaxes a bit, recognizing the strangely familiar face, but aims the gun at him nonetheless.  
“Who are you?” Dean demands. 

“I’m Castiel,” Cas answers.

Dean looks him over. “Why are you in my dreams all the time? What are you doing to me?” 

Cas smiles, and comes to a stop in front of the car. “I’m not doing anything to you. The real question is,” he leans forward, cocks his head a little, and arches an eyebrow. “Why have you been dreaming of me? That’s a bit odd, don’t you agree?”

Dean lowers the gun, and slides off the car to land beside Cas. “It is,” he admits, and gives him another once over. “God, you’re beautiful.” He murmurs, stepping closer to the other boy, not expecting him to be able to hear.

“Thank you,” Cas says, smirk growing more and more devious. “May I ask what the dreams are about?”

Dean returns the smirk, and crowds Cas against the front window of the car. “How about I show you?” and then he leans in and presses his mouth to Cas’.

The angel almost collapses under the weight of the realization that this man, this mere human, is his other half, his soul mate. 

He doesn’t fall, though, because Dean is there, gripping Cas’ hips and pressing him up against the cool metal frame of the Impala. Cas tightens his hands on Dean’s shoulders as the kiss escalates, Dean pushing his mouth open and exploring with his tongue. The human’s hands trail up his body to his hair, where he threads his hands into the messy locks.

They make small noises into each other’s mouths, panting when Dean pulls them apart. They gaze into each other’s eyes, green into blue, and Dean growls and dives into Cas’ neck, kissing his way up his neck, his jaw. Cas tilts his head back to allow for better access, and Dean makes another helpless sound. 

“Who are you?” he breathes, and Cas huffs a breathless laugh up into the night air. Dean’s hands travel from his hair to his hips again, pulling him as close as possible. “Seriously, though. Who are you? Are you another dream?” Dean asks against Cas’ jaw.

Cas pauses—should he tell him, and hint at the boys’ future? “I’m an angel.”

“Damn right you are,” Dean says, and leans in to kiss the other again. They continue like that, kissing softly and sweetly for a little. “How did you find me, angel?”

“I was looking.” Cas answers. 

“Can you stay?” he asks, hopeful.

Cas’ face falls, and he shakes his head, casting his eyes down. 

“Oh. Can… can I ask why?” Dean asks.

“Because you’re going to forget me.” Cas answers, and Dean lifts the other’s chin with his finger.

“No, Cas,” Dean falls into the nickname so easily, nearly making the angel flinch. “I won’t forget you. How could I forget you?”

“Like this,” Cas says, and presses his fingers to the human’s forehead, while also pressing his lips to the other’s, erasing himself from Dean’s memory. 

He darts away and hides himself from Dean’s view. He watches, chest hurting unpleasantly as Dean looks around, puzzled, and licks his lips.

“I don’t remember eating an apple.” He says, and Cas smiles.

***

The fourth time Cas sees him, Dean is 25. He and his father are after a nest of vampires just outside of Portland, Oregon. When he goes and picks up Jimmy, the man kisses his young daughter on the forehead, and then they’re off. 

Dean has gone out to get dinner for himself and his father, and is driving around the city, looking for a good burger joint. He stops at one that looks promising, but Cas knows he won’t stay long—they don’t sell good pie—so he leans up against the wall outside the diner, and waits, watching his breath ghost out in front of him in the cold night air. 

Dean comes out a few minutes later, and leans back against the wall a few feet away from Cas. He nods at Cas and smiles a little, saying, “Hey,” quietly. 

“Hello,” Cas says back, turning towards the man, and leans his right shoulder against the bricks. 

Dean is lovely, as always, if not tired. He looks at Cas interestedly, but warily, as Cas pushes off the wall and walks in right by Dean, waving him into the alley beside the restaurant. Dean goes easily, but pulls out a gun as soon as they’re in the darkness.

“Who are you?” he asks, voice gruff. 

“Oh, you know. No one.” Cas answers.

“No, don’t give me that bullshit. You’re someone, I know it. You’re everywhere I look, in the eyes, the hair, the posture, my dreams for God’s sake. So-”he cocks the gun and Cas cocks his head in counterpoint, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “-who are you?” 

Cas saunters up to Dean, only stopping when his forehead touches the end of the barrel. “Would you do it?” he asks, and stares straight into the other man’s eyes. 

Dean shifts nervously, shuffling his feet, licking his lips and adjusting his grip on the gun.

“Would you? Because you can. You’re the one in power, here, aren’t you?” he raises his hand to walk his fingers down the gun towards Dean’s arm. “You could do anything you wanted to me right now.” Dean swallows hard, still managing to keep a straight face with his eyes locked on Cas’, even as Cas wraps his hand around the other’s wrist. He pushes it down, bringing the gun away from his head and steps close. “So—what are you going to do?”

Green eyes darken, and suddenly he’s being pushed up against the brick wall, gun clattering to the ground, Dean’s mouth on his, claiming the area feverishly. They don’t break away for a while, making helpless little sounds into each other’s mouths. Dean cards his hands through Cas’ hair, and the other tips his head back the way he knows Dean wants him to.

“Jesus, man, where have you been all my life?” Dean gasps, breathing hard.

“Around,” Cas answers, breath hitching as Dean starts sucking a bruise onto his neck. 

“Who are you, though, really?”

“Castiel,” Cas says, bringing his head level to Dean’s to look him in the eyes. The other man looks confused for a second, as if trying to remember something. 

“Do I know you from somewhere, angel?” he asks, and Cas smiles sadly, leaning up and kissing the confusion off Dean’s face.

“You tell me.” 

Cas deepens the kiss, letting Dean push him into the wall and grind his hips hard against Cas’. 

Suddenly there are hands under his thighs, hoisting him up so that Cas can wrap his legs around Dean’s waist. They whimper into each other’s mouths, kissing until they can’t breathe and have to pull away. Dean leans his forehead against Cas’, painting, and stares into the other’s eyes.

“You have incredible eyes,” The angel says, smiling as Dean kisses him sweetly, and lowers him gently back to the ground.

“I have to go,” Dean says, running a hand through the other’s hair and stroking his thumb over Cas’ cheek as he continues. “But I’ll be here for a few days, at least, if you wanna… you know, meet up, or… something.”  
Cas smiles, and leans into the touch. It’s cute – Dean Winchester, ladies man extraordinaire, being shy.  
“I can’t.” Cas says, casting his eyes down.

“Oh. Okay, then,” Dean sounds hurt, and Cas panics. “I really wish I could, this was… this was amazing, but I have to get back to my brothers. They’ll be upset if I’m late.”

“I see.” Dean says, and leans in to kiss Cas again. “Well, then, goodbye.” He says, and Cas manages a smile.

“Goodbye, Dean Winchester,” he whispers, and touches his fingers to the man’s forehead for what will most likely be the last time. He flits up to the roof of one of the buildings beside the alley, and watches as Dean spins around puzzledly, picks up his gun, checks the alley once more, shakes his head and leaves the corridor of darkness to go back to his father.

Cas stands there for what feels like ages, after Dean has driven away, just to keep that feeling of happiness for a little while longer. Finally he wrenches himself away, and returns Jimmy to his family, erasing his mind for the last time as well. He watches his vessel stand in his bathroom for a while, staring at the face an angel wore.

Staring at the tear an angel shed.

***

Cas stays in heaven after that, keeping in touch with Jimmy, leaving the door open, just in case. He holds on to the sliver of hope that he may be allowed to see Dean once more, but he knows the chances are slim. 

One day, Raziel comes back torn, injured, unable to move any farther. His wings are broken, feathers coming off in clumps as he tries to drag himself along. Angels are on him in a second, picking him up and bringing him to Seraphim for healing. 

Silence falls on heaven for the first time in centuries, as everyone looks at one another. Everyone knows that Raziel was given the task to retrieve Dean Winchester from hell, so he could break the seals. Now, with him obviously unable to do much of anything, the angels don’t really know what to do.

“This was not foretold,” Raphael finally says, looking around at his brothers.

“What are we going to do?” Ambriel asks, almost aggressively, and Jehoel puts a hand on the other’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry brother, we can work this out.” He says, and Ambriel steps back to stand beside him.

“Yes, we can,” Raphael says, and raises his voice to address all the angels. “Brothers, this… was unexpected. And now we are faced with a problem; Dean Winchester resides in Hell to this day. We know he has broken-” the angels begin murmuring amongst themselves. “-and we need to take action. Sooner rather than later.”

The angels begin murmuring amongst themselves, no one wanting to risk a trip into Hell, because, while Dean is vitally important, he isn’t exactly a fan favorite in heaven.

“I will go.” Cas says suddenly, straightening his back, and holding his head high. “I will rescue The Righteous Man from the depths of Hell.”

***

And so he went, after a consultation with Raphael and Orifiel, with warnings against telling Dean who Cas is, and telling him to act differently, because the man would likely recognize behavioral patterns sooner than appearance. He fights his way through years of demons to where Dean is, torturing under the instruction of Alistair. Recognition is strong in his eyes when he sees Cas, but as the angel drags him up, he makes sure to erase every memory of Cas the human might have. He deposits him in the coffin, and leaves to report the rescue to his superiors. 

After the first time he is summoned by Dean and Bobby, Cas comes whenever he is called. Dean falls into calling him ‘Cas’ so easily, and the angel can’t help but smile; after everything they’ve been through, the one thing Dean remembers is the nickname he gave Cas. Sam falls into it too, eventually, not trusting the angel entirely the way Dean does.

But being with the Winchesters is difficult; Cas becomes attached to Sam in a way he didn’t know was possible, and Dean… 

Oh, Dean. So oblivious. Cas tries to get him to remember, he tries so hard. Standing too close, looking at Dean the way he knows Dean remembers. 

One time he thinks Dean has it figured out: The man is close to saying yes to Michael, and they’ve shut him in Bobby’s basement.

“Last time somebody looked at me like that, I got laid.” He says, and Cas almost says ‘I know.’ Instead he just looks at him harder, willing him to remember, forcing him to dwell on it later. Dean winks at him, and Cas slams the door shut, flying away seconds later, tears in his eyes.

***

Sometimes he shows up in Dean’s hotel room, and sits on the bed, watching the sleeping man, waiting for him to wake up. 

He loves Dean as he wakes up. All loose muscles and sleepy eyelids, yawning and settling back down, trying to hold on to the dream he’s having. 

He wants to be the face Dean wakes up next to. Is that too much to ask?

***

All he wants is for Dean to realize, to look at Cas and say, “I know you.” He can’t tell him, though, not with his brothers watching.

So he waits, and he watches. He’s lucky, he knows that, to even be able to be around Dean at all. But now that he has that, he can’t help but want more. He wants to be able to talk to Dean about anything, to take the man’s face in his hands and press his lips to Deans’, to pant into his mouth and make him whimper.

Sometimes the angel even finds himself wishing for the way it was before, but stops and tells himself that its better this way, Dean is safe under Cas’ protection. That its better this way, so much better, because he gets to see Dean smile on a near daily basis.

And so Cas stays, and continues falling deeper and deeper in love with the elder Winchester.

***

One day, Dean is cleaning his and Sam’s guns, when Cas appears to him, after many hours of searching. The man jumps a little, and swears. Cas stands for a moment, then sits down opposite Dean, on what must be Sam’s bed.  
They sit in silence for a bit, until Dean breaks it.

“Hey, Cas, have you ever had that feeling that you know someone, but you don’t know from where, or how that’s’ even possible?” he doesn’t look at Cas when he speaks, focusing on his task.

“Yes. I felt that way with Anna, to a certain extent. Angels can always sense another angel’s grace, even the faintest residue.” Cas responds, and pushes down the excitement in his gut as he asks, “Why?”

Dean shoots him a sidelong glance, and shrugs. “I don’t know.

He waits a moment, then asks tentatively, “Do you feel that way?”

“I said I don’t know, Cas!” Dean yells, making the angel start. Dean sighs, and drops his head into his hands, groaning an apology. “M’sorry, man.” He rubs his eyes, and looks up at Cas.  
“Yes, Cas, I do feel that way. I can’t place how I know him, though, and it’s slowly killing me.”

Concern flashes through Cas, and he panics as he checks Dean’s vitals. “I see no change in your physical state.”

Dean smiles. “Just a figure of speech, angel.” He freezes, and Cas sits up a bit taller, peering at Dean.

“Angel?”

Dean holds his hands out in front of himself and leans back, as if expecting an attack. “No, no, Cas, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that—”Cas leans forward a bit, and Dean leans back even more. “— I didn’t, I mean, I wouldn’t- I- no, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Dean. I don’t mind.” They sit in silence, Dean still watching Cas warily, and the angel smiles a bit.

“Is it me that you remember?” he asks, and Dean gapes at him.

“How did you- yes.”

“What do you remember, Dean?” Cas asks eagerly.

“Well, they’re just… they’re just dreams, but… I’m there, and so are you, but we’re younger. I must only be, like, 17, and you’ve got to be a little older, and we’re in a clearing, with the Impala, and we’re… well, we’re kissing.” Cas nods as Dean casts his eyes down and begins playing with one of the guns. “And, while we’re kissing, I realize that you are the most important thing to me, except for Sam.”

Cas closes his eyes, and lets out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, smiling.

“It’s… it’s not a dream at all, is it? It’s a memory you tried to take away from me. They all are.” Dean says. Cas opens his eyes, and nods. “Whoa. Okay. So you’re… are we like… soul mates, or something?”

“You could say that.” Cas says, smiling bigger.

“Wow. Okay. Can I…” he trails off, leaning forward, and Cas laughs a little.

“Of course. I’m yours, Dean Winchester.”

“Wow.” Dean starts, but Cas gets impatient, and presses his lips against the others’.

Dean’s eyes go wide, then fall shut, and suddenly he’s gripping Cas’ jacket and pulling him forward. Cas goes easily, climbing into Dean’s lap and deepening the kiss as he runs his hands through Dean’s hair, resting them on the man’s shoulders. Dean holds Cas in place, his hands clutching at Cas’ jacket, trying to have the other as close as possible.

They break apart, panting, and Dean pushes the trench coat off the angel’s shoulders, followed by the suit jacket. Cas works at pulling Dean’s shirt off, and Dean begins unbuttoning the other’s white dress shirt. He only gets three buttons in before Cas can’t wait any longer, and dives back in, claiming Dean’s mouth with a ferocity that surprises Dean, and he laughs into the kiss a little.

“I have waited… so long.” Cas growls, and Dean laughs again.

“You think you’ve been waiting? I’ve been waiting all my life, it seems.”

Cas doesn’t want to, but he just has to pull away at that, staring Dean dead in the eye.

“I was created before Earth, before the stars and the sun and life itself. I was created far before Adam and Eve. So don’t even try to compare our situations.” He says, and Dean smiles, eyes soft.

“Okay, okay, sorry.” He kisses the other sweetly, pushes the guns and paraphernalia off the bed and rolls them over so they’re lying side by side on the bed.

“I’ve missed you.” Cas says, kissing Dean on the nose.

Dean rolls his eyes but smiles. “Don’t leave me ever again, okay?” and Cas smiles too.

“Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> For Adrienne (aka dropples.tumblr.com) for her birthday <3  
> Go follow her she's amazing ok


End file.
